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In today’s edition:

The flukiest federal holiday

Happy Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples’ Day, or, in many cases, regular old Monday (see: me working today).

This has got to be the federal observance for which Americans’ mileage most varies, and as author C.W. Goodyear writes, the holiday’s modern complications are matched by an equally complicated (and interesting) history. The enduring Columbus Day, he says, is basically an accident.

Goodyear explains how a spate of particularly anti-Italian violence in an already anti-Italian era of U.S. history prompted President Benjamin Harrison to observe in 1892 the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’s landing in the Americas. It was meant as a one-off holiday to fight anti-immigrant sentiment by lauding a famous Italian, but Italian Americans loved it, and it stuck.

How ironic that “a holiday that was popularized, in part, to atone for America’s past crimes against one group of people,” Goodyear writes, “is now being reevaluated for how it neglects those committed against another,” namely the Indigenous Americans whose decimation began with Columbus.

Goodyear writes that “in 1892, Harrison just needed an Italian (any Italian) to demonstrate that nationality’s entitlement to a place in American history and society. The subsequent lionization of Columbus himself over the years is something of a fluke.”

A humble suggestion that still gives us some time to adjust: Sept. 20, 2034, will be Sophia Loren’s 100th birthday.

Chaser: The animus of the 1890s alienated Italy from the United States. Today, E.J. Dionne reports, the specter of a reelected Donald Trump has all our European allies anxious.

Closing arguments

I don’t know whether, definitionally, something that has been hulking in your field of vision for months can sneak up on you, but the election is in three weeks, and that puts us — surprise! — in closing-argument territory.

Matt Bai has a clever suggestion for what that message should be for Kamala Harris, who he says has not outlined much of a reason to put her in the White House other than to keep Trump out of it.

Matt thinks Harris can actually lean into that because “if there’s one place where Harris holds a clear advantage over Trump, it’s in her character and steadiness.” Presidents never know what big crisis will ultimately come their way, Matt says, so “instead of trying to pretend [Harris] knows exactly what she would do as president, she might be better off crafting a closing argument about the policies we don’t yet know we need.” Whom would you rather have in charge when the next emergency comes?

Trump assures the country that immigration is that emergency. Naturally, his mass deportation plan is the only solution.

León Krauze writes that Trump’s plan would be brutal, expensive and inhumane — and that Harris is missing a big opportunity with Latino voters by not calling it all those things.

León can see that Harris is erring on the side of caution in a country that is drifting rightward on immigration. But, he worries, “if Trump’s opposition refuses to call out his dangerous policies, then voters will have fewer opportunities to understand the real-life implications of a second Trump term.” Especially, in this case, the pivotal Latino voters whose communities would be most affected.

Chaser: Paul Butler writes that Black male voters are being fumbled by Harris’s most powerful surrogate: Barack Obama, apparently Black men’s scolder-in-chief.

Less politics

What is Harris going to do about people bringing their dogs everywhere, huh? Enough!

“I have no problem with dogs being part of the family,” essayist and pet owner Tove Danovich writes, “but sometimes even family should get left at home.”

Danovich recounts a recent visit to the one park (out of 33) near her home that disallows dogs. She wanted to see some animals out there, and she did: doe, rabbit, then — boom! — dog. No more wildlife, scattered by the presence of a canine predator.

A whole world will reveal itself to us, Danovich writes, as soon as man can give up having his best friend always by his side.

Smartest, fastest

It’s a goodbye. It’s a haiku. It’s … The Bye-Ku.

Unleashed animals

Running on paws, no order

Better message: Heel!

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Have your own newsy haiku? Email it to me, along with any questions/comments/ambiguities. See you tomorrow!